i am closing down this site and will only be blogging over at
http://peanutsparents.blogspot.com
Sunday, June 08, 2008
Feeling luck
I feel lucky. I was able to get pregnant and carry a pregnancy to term twice. I feel very lucky.
Both babies were born with no complications and were healthy from the start. I feel really really lucky.
Both babies have temperaments that other mother's dream of. I have had wonderful recoveries from both of my pregnancies and things at home are better than I thought they could be. I am so very very lucky.
BUT, I feel like I have dodged a big bullet. I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop. Can I really be this lucky?
The thing is, I know that it is all luck. I mean sure I do all the things you are suppose to, but so do many other woman with very different consequences. I guess I almost feel like I am too lucky. I feel like since I have had all this good luck, then surely, something is bound to go wrong.
Lately, I have been obsessing about finding out that my child has learning or emotional issues. My brother did. It was hard naming Baby P after my brother because his life was so short and tragic. In a lot of ways I would be proud if Baby P was like my brother because my brother was sensitive and kind. He is heart was almost too big to fit into his gangly 6 foot 2 frame, but he had some real emotional issues. He was incredibly immature for his age and learning was very hard for him. I don't wish that on my own son. It is hard not to be a little superstitious.
But, I guess our kids end up like they are going to end up and all we can do is stand at the sidelines and hope our luck gets passed on to them. It is hard not to fret though, because so far, I am so lucky.
Both babies were born with no complications and were healthy from the start. I feel really really lucky.
Both babies have temperaments that other mother's dream of. I have had wonderful recoveries from both of my pregnancies and things at home are better than I thought they could be. I am so very very lucky.
BUT, I feel like I have dodged a big bullet. I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop. Can I really be this lucky?
The thing is, I know that it is all luck. I mean sure I do all the things you are suppose to, but so do many other woman with very different consequences. I guess I almost feel like I am too lucky. I feel like since I have had all this good luck, then surely, something is bound to go wrong.
Lately, I have been obsessing about finding out that my child has learning or emotional issues. My brother did. It was hard naming Baby P after my brother because his life was so short and tragic. In a lot of ways I would be proud if Baby P was like my brother because my brother was sensitive and kind. He is heart was almost too big to fit into his gangly 6 foot 2 frame, but he had some real emotional issues. He was incredibly immature for his age and learning was very hard for him. I don't wish that on my own son. It is hard not to be a little superstitious.
But, I guess our kids end up like they are going to end up and all we can do is stand at the sidelines and hope our luck gets passed on to them. It is hard not to fret though, because so far, I am so lucky.
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