The Walk

When I was first walking around this neighborhood, I was 8 to 12 weeks pregnant. I pictured myself walking up and down scenic trying to get you out of me.

I started that walk tonight. The air is cool right now, which only invigorates me more. I have a buzzing energy that seems to flow through my hands. I can't read, write, rest enough. I know I need to rest, but my mind keeps taking me to other places. I keep thinking about your birth and picturing it being so much easier and less painful than last time. I am overly confident, but I know I can handle whatever comes my way. Even when I am laying down to rest, it feels like a great burden to close my eyes. I want it all to happen now. I want to feel a great pressure and then a release knowing you have entered the world. I want to feel you on my chest all gooey and new.

But instead I walk. And wait. It is hard for a person like me who likes to know what is going on. I try not to obsess, but surprises don't work very well for me. I want to call my mom right now and tell her that tonight is the night and to start driving down. But there isn't much point, the contractions are too far and few and light.

I know it will all happen soon enough. Until then, I will carry 2 extra pairs on underwear in my purse since I seem to pee in them at least twice a day. Did I mention that being pregnant is glamorous?