Heartbeat and checkup

I heard your heartbeat yesterday. It was beautiful. All day I felt like I was on a high. I was worried about you. I feel pregnant, which is a good sign, but with so much stress early in the pregnancy, I not would let myself believe that you were here to stay.

But I think you are.

I told all my internet friends. Telling people is fun because people email me that I haven't spoken to in ages. Friends from college are emailing me.

I look forward to meeting you. You are turning into a little person faster than your sister did. Maybe it is because I have already had a baby and know what to expect. I am also looking forward to having you but my anticipation is different than with your sister. With your sister, I was all into being a mom and what would the birth be like and would you even be okay. With you, I just want to get you out and start moving forward with my life. I am not terribly worried about your health, because I feel very good about it. I am curious what your sex is, but it isn't something I dwell on. To me, you are already you, and I feel like that is okay. I feel peace and like I can deal with it. Maybe I have the opportunity to feel that way because your sister was such an easy baby.

She loves babies. I can't wait to see you two together. It makes my heart swell with joy and pride to think about you two together. She is a neat person. You are going to have fun.